We need to start with a couple definitions, since everyone has their own take on these terms.
Soulmate – A separate soul who incarnates with you on a regular basis, like friends hanging out. They can have any relationship to you: parent, child, friend, family, lover, and you can meet several.
Twin Flame – Someone who shares the same soul. They can have any relationship to you: parent, child, friend, family, lover, and you have more than one, although you may not meet any.
As we begin our ascension process, we are each shedding layers of the ego, allowing us to live more in tune with our soul. As we vibrate closer to our soul frequency, we are attracting others with a similar frequency, this is our soul family. Most of us have soulmates in our life, though we may not recognize them, and twin flames are starting to pop up all over. It used to be quite rare to meet a twin, but they are essential to the process we’re in.
Soulmates are a support, and help us to deal with our emotional stuff. They are usually fairly smooth relationships, but also involve a fair amount of mirroring – they show us what we need to work on. That’s just never fun, no matter what kind of relationship you have. Soulmates help us to grow, and work with our ego. We may have someone in our life for years before they play their part as a soulmate, or you might just “click” right away.
Twin flames are completely different. Think of a soul like an octopus with eight legs; it is a single, whole and complete creature, but it can move each leg independently. Everyone of us has about half a dozen other people on the planet right now sharing our soul. Your soul isn’t broken, it’s just gaining different experiences by incarnating as different people at the same time. These people are often radically different, living almost in polarity of each other, presumably for the variety of experience. During any other time in history those separate pieces wouldn’t meet, but this mass ascension is calling for some powerful energy. I know a few people who have met two or even three twins.
There is some useful information out there, by people who have obviously had the experience, but I disagree with two major points they promote as fact: you have only one twin flame, and it must be a romantic relationship. There are twins where one of them was gay. Some twins try to have a romantic relationship and fail. There are twins whose age disparity is so great they aren’t sexually attracted. I personally have a twin who is obviously my sister, not a lesbian lover. I know a couple of people who have met more than one twin, and have a very different relationship with each. Every set is different, and the Universe is much more mysterious than we imagine. Twin flame relationships are each unique, and can’t be fit into a standard definition. The love is the same regardless of the relationship, and love is the whole point.
The twin flame phenomenon has gotten completely distorted in some circles, and become a kind of New Age “someday my prince will come” thing. I think this is due to people who have never had the experience trying to explain a spiritual awakening through psychology. Rumi would be medicated and locked up today for his ecstatic joy. This isn’t a 3rd dimensional thing and can’t be explained in that way. Yes, it’s all about love, but not in the way we normally catagorize that experience.
The concept of love we normally deal with is conditional love: I love you IF… (you behave the way I want, you fulfill some need of mine, etc.). The love twin flames share is completely unconditional, it’s more of a vibration than an emotion, and it grows and expands, almost taking on a life of its own, which is why it is essential at this time. The object of their game is to transcend the ego, and return us all to the unconditional love of the Divine.
This is quite a challenge while we’re still living in the 3rd dimension with our egos intact. Having a “normal” relationship with a twin is totally impossible, because that just isn’t how it works. While a soulmate teaches us to work through the ego by mirroring, a twin teaches us to transcend the ego through triggering. Mirroring reflects our issues back to us, while triggering is caused by opposite traits needing to be incorporated and balanced. It is about lessening the polarity of our existence by integrating these opposite extremes.
There is also an element of choice in a soulmate relationship. When you are overwhelmed by the mirroring of your ego, you can either work through that issue with that person, or move to a different soulmate and repeat the process until you learn whatever you need to learn. That’s why so many people keep repeating the same type of relationship, trying to avoid their own ego. In my experience, twins are not a choice, they just happen. It’s like a spiritual promotion to learning about higher dimensional relationships. Also, you can’t leave. You can do the “runner” thing and pretend you have control over the situation, but twins bond on an energetic level, so once they find each other, they are never really apart.
Another reason twins are usually painted in a romantic light is that we simply don’t have words to accurately describe the experience, and love is a pale comparison, yet it’s probably the closest word we have. Blissful and terrifying, the comfort of returning home, seeing and being seen on a soul level, feeling completely exposed yet completely accepted. It’s the most surreal and transformation experience I’ve ever had, but it isn’t for everyone, the intensity can be overwhelming. It is a Divine calling to accelerated personal growth, not a way to fill a personal void. If you’re looking for a twin to complete you, just know that isn’t at all what it’s about.
Soul relationships are still relationships, whether working with the ego or transcending it. Anytime you are dealing with other people there will be “stuff” to work through. There is no “perfect match” that you will never fight with, but the work is kind of the point. So read all the fabulous twin flame info on the internet and feel the love they are trying to convey, but remember twins are a matter of spiritual calling, not desire fulfillment. Opening and expanding the heart is what it’s all about.