It looks outwardly that men have all the power. Male dominant social structure with the focus on mental achievement, conquest (money and sex), and accumulation. It seems like balancing power just means men need to relax and learn to share. There’s another side. As men have overtly controlled women, women have covertly been emasculating men.
I am using gender terms for simplicity, but the roles can easily be reversed, as we all have both masculine and feminine energy within us.
The aggressive male is outdated at this point. Yes, there is still plenty of abuse going on, but it’s been brought into the spotlight as a bad thing. What’s far more common at this point is the eternal child, or refusal to grow up. Why? Because society has accepted that it’s fine to steal boys power from the get-go. “Boys develop slower. You know how boys are,” and it continues into adolescence with “they’re just being boys” and into marriage with all the nagging because “men are such children”. We take away their power by repeatedly telling them they aren’t strong enough to handel life because they are “just boys”, and hoping they will marry “a good woman” to take care of them, being that they are incapable of taking care of themselves.
This is played out in relationships as the woman constantly nagging and belittling her husband, while he silently gets angry and passive-agressive. Instead of being raised to be whole independent people, women are taught they need a man for financial security, and men are taught they need an eternal mother to take care of them. No wonder relationships are so difficult. We are each wrapped up in controlling the other person’s power, instead of balancing our own.
If any of this sounds familiar, start with forgiving yourself and your partner. Most of us were raised with perfect role models of imbalance. And so were our parents. This has been going on for a very long time. As the issue comes into your awareness, you can start the process of change.
If you are a nagger (of either sex) you are trying to control the other person’s masculine energy. When you notice yourself starting this old pattern, stop and respect the other person as a capable human being. Let it go. Even if they are going about something in a way you don’t understand, just let them do it. If they fail, respect them for trying. Your partner is whole and capable.
If you are always waiting for an eternal mother to guide your every move and keep you safe, remember you are a powerful being. It might be scary at first, to hold your own power, but you won’t break. We all get bruised up a bit as we learn to fly, but you can handle it. Promise. It’s okay to grow up and be strong.
Objectification of women is well publicized and being understood and dealt with in new ways. Let’s also examine the emasculation of men, and how to restore their power. We are all coming back into balance.