Before you stop reading based on the title, let me define how I am using the word. To me, “the patriarchy” is a social system that has evolved over thousands of years. Most women are fully aware of the damage it has caused to women, but men don’t yet realize how it has fundamentally limited men. I am writing about how this system has hurt all humans.

Two days ago I started getting so many downloads, my thoughts feel all jumbled. I decided it is best to just send out the loudest thoughts, even thought they don’t really follow a cohesive stream. Sorry for the mess that follows. Hopefully, something will benefit you on your journey, or at least be fuel for contemplation.

For in depth, historical information on the patriarchy, I recommend “The Creation of the Patriarchy” by Gerda Learner. This is a scholarly text researched and written by an historian, not just an opinion. Over time, men have been reduced to money (inherited or earned), and women are responsible for everything else (having and raising children, keeping house, emotional needs of all in her home).

Only in the recent past (100-150 years) have women been allowed to own property, have a job, control their own money, and safely leave an abusive relationship. For the purpose of this post, I’m saying the women were finally allowed to have boundaries. This is still a new skill, and I know a few women who can’t bring themselves to leave a bad situation, but at least they know it won’t change and they will eventually have to leave.

Here is my concern for men – the concept of money is changing rapidly, and they generally don’t understand how to use boundaries. If a man (or anyone primarily living from masculine energy) has their sense of self tied -up in money, this isn’t going to end well. Who are you without money? Will gender roles still exist? Not in the old way. Boundaries are another matter. We all need boundaries.

Men have just never needed boundaries. Until quite recently, men were always at the top of the food chain, so the idea of boundaries never even came up. Having boundaries is about personal responsibility. If you set a boundary and someone else continually breaks it, it is not for them to change, it is for you to leave. Have a calm, adult conversation about how important the boundary is and how it was broken, but if it keeps happening, it’s on you to either change your expectations or leave. That’s the thing about taking responsibility for yourself – it is up to you to make the change, because it is your boundary.

The reason this is coming up now is that the patriarchy is well on its way out. In the old system, blame was the preferred way to deal with masculine unhappiness. I once overheard two men talking about the one guy’s bad attitude… “I’m not your mother, your wife, or your girlfriend, so don’t throw that attitude at me.” In my personal experience, this sums up how many men are taught to deal with their unhappiness. Some younger females are also starting to adopt blame in lieu of boundaries.

On a more esoteric level, we are each being guided to balance our inner feminine with our inner masculine. Our masculine side gives us drive, while our feminine side brings us direction. Many of us in the Western world are heavy on the masculine, myself included. Lately, I’ve been redefining my own inner energies… I feel like I do better if I consciously wait for the feminine to lead (intuition, my body), then support with the masculine (action). My old way feels like I am dragging myself though life. Play with that idea a bit.

I don’t know where we’re going, but I do know it won’t resemble the past. Keep an open mind, and remember that all resolution starts within. This is what we came for!

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