I was struggling with how to write this, for the healer or the one being healed, but we are always both, so it should be examined from both sides. Healing happens when we are fully seen, fully heard, and fully accepted (without judgement). A person can only meet you as deeply as they have met themselves, and you can only receive healing as deeply as you’ve met yourself. So the potential for healing comes from within, no matter which side of the equation you’re standing on.
A healer is able to fully accept the current condition without judgement, while simultaneously holding the vision of perfect health. That’s not as easy as it sounds, because we live in a culture of “fixers”. If something needs fixed, it is obviously broken. To a healer, nothing is ever really broken. You aren’t less than what you should be, you just took a different path for a while, and maybe forgot your own perfection. Receiving healing requires acknowledging your own perfection, independent of present circumstances.
To be able to witness a journey (yours or someone else’s) without judgement takes much dedication and practice. We are so conditioned to “fix”, that we have lost the art of witnessing. Ills, on many levels, are immediately improved by just being fully present to witness the process. Encouragement and support are sometimes best when silent. It takes practice, but witnessing your own journey, without judgement, is the best thing you can do for yourself. It allows all kinds of things to come and go, without attachment. It returns us to the flow of life itself.
“Fixing” is a dynamic, requiring both parties to be attached in a dance of codependency. The one being fixed is placing all their personal power outside themselves, which leads to blame and a victim mentality. The fixer either needs to feel needed or enjoys holding the power of the role, and both are ego-based roles. It is a flawed dynamic, that can only provide limited, and short term, results.
“Fixing” also implies an arrogance, resulting in a major power imbalance. This situation says, “They need me! What would happen to them if I wasn’t here?” Healing can only happen from within, and personal power is a must. By thinking someone “needs” you, you are affirming their victim mentality, and feeding the codependent role of powerful fixer and pitiful sick person. It’s a lose-lose situation. Yes, we all “need” other people in our lives as support, community, and remembrance, but as soon as they become your savior, the balance is lost, for both parties.
“Healing” is about remembering. A true healer holds a frequency, and a vision, of your perfection. No matter their chosen modality, results will hold strong, if you are able to receive. A healer is simply someone who reminds you of your own wholeness, at least on an energetic level. Healers want you to heal, they don’t want to build a clientele. This doesn’t mean results are instant, or that you need to limit your visits, just that their goal is wellness, not the steady income illness provides.
They say Love heals, and this is true. The unconditional kind is a vibration, not an attachment. The more unconditional love you can pump through your system, the easier it is to heal and be healed. The opposite of this is fear, which usually manifests as judgement. Love unites us at a higher level, while judgement brings separation and isolation. Internally, do you judge yourself for not healing? This, in itself, may be the biggest block.
Healing takes integrity and personal responsibility on both sides. Both parties need to be wary of codependency and attachment, and be willing to stop the treatments at any time, either temporarily or permanently. Healing is a return to your natural flow, so be willing to flow. Use your intuition, and act from sovereignty. Sometimes, a healer feels obligated to work with anyone who knocks on their door, but this isn’t helpful if you aren’t a good match. It’s okay to send people on to someone more suited to their needs. It is actually better for both of you.
One of the most powerful healing practices I have found is Ho’oponopono, the Hawaiian healing method. You just do this for yourself, for any issue – physical or psychological. Just close your eyes, center yourself with some deep breaths, and visualize the issue (your liver, your boss, your former lover, whatever), and say the following four statements slowly, pausing between to let it sink in…
Please forgive me
I love you
Then repeat each statement, one at a time, and give them time to respond…
You: I’m sorry… Your liver: I’m sorry…
You: Please forgive me… Your liver: Please forgive me…
You: Thank you… Your liver: Thank you
You: I love you… Your liver: I love you
Any body part, any person, any issue, any archetype, even any sense of Deity. This simple technique can clear the way for healing to happen.
Forgiveness and gratitude pave the way for Love, and Love heals. Then, you are in a position to attract people and modalities to assist with your process. Healing always begins within… and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.