Society has taught us some fundamental lies. Lies that keep us shackled, keep us victimized. Some of these lies were probably symbology gone literal, or commercialism gone rouge. Whatever their beginnings, it’s time we question some of the basic beliefs causing so much unrest. Please feel free to add to this list in the comments.
#1 Life is supposed to be happy all the time. Life is always in motion, and so are emotional states. Being fully present to whatever is happening will bring awareness into all of your life. We like to say “When will this bad mood pass?” but we rarely say “I am savoring this happy time.” It’s like we expect the “bad” to shift, but the “good” might stay forever. Everything changes. Let it.
#2 If you aren’t in a constant state of happiness, something is wrong with you. Instead of teaching coping skills, we simply label and medicate anything short of constant joy. Extremes are worth medicating, but it’s totally normal to feel occasional anxiety, depression, or any variety of “negative” emotions. Telling people something is wrong with them affects their willingness to seek companionship, and drives the drug industry.
#3 A noun (person, place, or thing) will make me happy. Lasting happiness is never the result of an outside person, place, or thing. Plus, it puts a ton of undue pressure on a relationship to expect another person to make you happy. Or reversed, you take on way too much when you devote yourself to making someone else happy. You don’t need more stuff, or to move again, or another relationship. Happiness is an inside job. Each one of us is responsible for our own (and only our own) happiness.
#4 Happiness is the goal of life. There simply isn’t a happily-ever-after. There isn’t even a destination point, other than the grave. Developing coping skills to navigate the highs and lows is a much more noble goal. Becoming a kinder person is a worthy goal. Self-mastery, loving yourself, healing past trauma, and sharing your knowledge to assist others are all good options. You get to decide your own goal. Happiness is NOT the default goal of existence.
#5 You have to “want to”, before actually doing it. No one enjoys all the chores. No one. Yet they still need to be done. Taking care of the laundry and paying the bills is simply a necessity of our quality of living. My sixth grade teacher started the year by saying, “We are going to learn Social Studies and Science. We’re starting with Social Studies, because I don’t really like it. We’ll get it out of the way, and then focus on the fun stuff.” Brilliant. You don’t have to want to, you just have to do it.
#6 Paying attention means only thinking about one thing. I have had this conversation numerous times… High I.Q. shows in the number of ideas you have, and how quickly you can tie different ideas together. If you can do all that, and still drive to work (while singing), it isn’t ADHD, you’re just smart. You will benefit more from developing some mental discipline than you will from medication. It takes a Zen Master to only think of one thing. (Or an IQ below room temperature.)
#7 If it’s legal, and others do it, it’s not harmful. How many decades did it take for society to grasp that smoking is harmful to health? And that alcohol is so poisonous that pregnant women should avoid it? Now Marijuana is the recreational drug of choice, with most believing it’s harmless. It’s not. Just like needing a beer every night to relax, if you need to smoke pot everyday, there’s an issue. There are both physical and psychological consequences to substance dependence. ANY substance.
#8 If you aren’t checked-out, you aren’t having fun. I don’t understand how “less present” got equated with “more fun”. Maybe it’s just escapism. 3D really is a dense vibration, but you have to actively climb out of it. You must be present to win.
#9 Competition and independence bring success, while cooperation and interdependence are considered weak. Our entire model of success is based on competition and independence. That’s also the way to loneliness and isolation. I’m pretty sure Darwin was a pessimistic little bugger. Unity consciousness demands cooperation and interdependence. Look at nature, beautifully intertwined, as an ecosystem should be. The sooner we admit we are better together, the sooner joy and abundance can reign.
I have never been a fan of the “life’s a journey” philosophy. I like goals. I like having a target. I no longer think that makes me a control freak, it’s just who I am. That said, my goals have been adjusted to flow with the tides of life. Self-mastery is a goal. Being more present and aware each day is a goal. Helping others whenever I can is a goal. All of these can stay in play, no matter what life brings to my door.
This is great time to reassess your life assumptions, and your personal goals. Be sure your world has fewer lies, and more lessons.
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