That Strange Pull

There are so many different levels of ascension going on right now, it’s hard to find a common theme. Some are in the messy work of transmuting karma at an accelerated rate, others are starting to understand and develop intuition, while a few are sprinting towards the next step of human evolution. The only common theme is that strange pull towards your own next step. We are all feeling it. It’s an almost magnetic force, drawing us into the future.

All I can recommend is to follow it. Follow the strange pull of your soul.

If you are being pulled by karma, then it will become quite apparent very quickly. This isn’t bad, it’s just showing you what needs healed for you to keep evolving. Look at the mess straight on, eyes open, and get whatever help you need to stop repeating old patterns. It’s just a wake-up call. Warning: the situation will get worse until you face it. This encourages awareness, and brings personal responsibility and power. It is a needed step. We all go through it at some point. Freedom requires awareness.

This karmic stage is marked by victim mentality, fear, anger and blame. Everything wrong in the world seems to be due to outer situations or people. “I would be happy, if only X were different.” The point of this step is to awaken you to the fact that it all lies within. Everything outside you is merely a reflection of what’s inside you. The ONLY thing you can change is yourself, then the outer world reflects that change.  It brings the power, and responsibility, back where it belongs… in you.

If you are being pulled by intuition, then it will be more of a refinement of your skill set. This stage is about learning to discern intuition from ego. If you think you are following your intuition, but things end poorly, then it wasn’t your intuition. This is about learning which signals are from your body and soul, and which signals are from ego stories and addiction. It’s a lot of trial and error at first, but the feedback is almost instant. Be gentle with yourself. You are learning discernment.

You start to really understand the correlation between your inner world, and the outer. You see how judging yourself attracts judgmental people. It’s like your inner voice is quite obviously demonstrated in your outer world. Not the world stage, but your own circle of people. It’s easier if you take this step lightly, and just make a fun game of changing the inner to see what shifts in the outer. This step is moving from personal power to co-creation with the Universe.

If you are being pulled toward the next step, it’s your soul family pulling you in. I got the guidance six months ago I would be moving. All of a sudden, in the course of a month, I know the town, started packing, and have plenty of support to make it happen. When I meditate, I feel my soul family around me, most of whom I haven’t met yet (in this life). Inter-dimensional connection is heightened. Telepathy is heightened. It’s getting weird, even for me. That’s saying something.

This is an exercise in mastery level awareness. It’s still a learning curve, believe me. It takes a lot to be aware of your every passing thought, knowing it might be overheard by the telepathically sensitive. It requires a whole new level of self-love, to produce a loving aura. At the same time, there’s no other choice, because the pull to evolve is so strong.

If you are being pulled to the couch for a nap, consider it sacred rest. This is a physical ascension process, and your primary job is to support the body. There are times when I feel a sudden wave of exhaustion, and I think, “But I still have a list of stuff I want to get done!” And in reply I hear, “Or you could do your primary job.” Embodiment is the whole point. Integration is the whole point. That’s what we are really doing here, not the “life stuff” we put so much emphasis on.

Sidenote – Just as crystals are programmable, crystalline DNA is programmable. Be careful what you think and say to your body. It’s listening, in a whole new way.

And these aren’t clear-cut stages. You don’t graduate to never again dealing with karma, but it does take less energy and time. These are just waves – where the bulk of your time and focus are. They are fluid, and we are all at different points. Be where you are, without judgement, and keep moving forward.

So, here are my coping skills:
Mantra – Everything happens for me. This event was perfectly orchestrated to show me something important.
Observer Mind – Step outside my own drama to observe what I’m being shown.
Body Love – I speak lovingly to my body whenever I can – at least before bed.

Follow that strange pull of the soul. Evolution calls.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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Relax Into Presence

Now is the time to be fully present. Forget the disappointment and grief of the past. Forget the fear and anxiety of the future. Both only exist in the imagination, anyway. When you bring your awareness to the present moment, you can see the perfection of your life. You can feel where your body is holding tension, and release it. You can witness your own existence. And most importantly, you can experience fully.

We are each the star of our own story, as it should be, but sometimes we forget others are also living their own story. As we move into Unity Consciousness, we automatically start to incorporate the timing of other’s. I know many of us were taught we need to “make life happen”, but it’s time to revisit what that means. Life has its own timeline. We can’t push a river.

Now, instead of pushing through life, we are asked to flow with it. This means being very active when it feels right, and being very still, yet fully present, at other times. Being present may look like nothing is being accomplished, but much is happening on the inner planes. As above, so below; as within, so without. Being fully present with your body is one of the most important things we can do at the moment. It activates codes. It shows your body you support it. It accelerates ascension for all of us. And it aligns us with our highest trajectory.

We are gathering our soul family for the next step in our mission. This means two things are happening – we are aligning our energy with similar vibrations, and we are allowing time and space for our group to gather. Many of us don’t want to “wait” anymore. Impatience lowers your frequency, because it places the focus on the future. We create only in the eternal now, so keeping all our energy there is a powerful thing. We are never truly “waiting” and doing nothing. When we feel unaccomplished, it’s time to refocus inward. We can always “do” more by being fully present.

This is a new skill set for many of us, so be gentle with yourself. I need to mention that being fully present means having clear focus. You may not think only one drink, one cigarette, or one puff of marijuana makes a difference, but it does. Being fully present means being fully aware, and fully in your body. If you can’t relax without the help of a substance, there is more shadow work to do.

Ascension happens in waves. Some stopped using alcohol long ago, others are only drinking socially, while still others don’t see a problem with daily use. We are all at different places on the path. I use alcohol as an easy example, but it can be any means of distraction – substances, excessive socialization, video games, arguments on social media, pornography, the list goes on. Anything that you use to stop being present with yourself is merely a distraction. Be right where you are without judgement, but observe your behaviors. Address any aversion to presence.

For me, when I sink into the present moment, I feel my body relax. As I sit there, I feel my heart open and love surround me. It feels like meditation used to. Then life happens, I get all wound up, and I have to remind myself to be present. It’s a learning curve. It doesn’t just happen, you have to build a new habit pattern. We are all learning. We are all evolving. We are all changing. Be kind to yourself in this process.

So, for now, our work is mostly internal. Self-mastery. True freedom is freedom from time,   living in the eternal now. Presence brings peace, to mind and body. The power of creation rests in the stillness. Relax into your own presence.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!



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Embodying the Codes

Ever been to one of those automatic car washes that move the car for you? You just put the front wheel on the plate, put it in neutral, and stay off the brake. That’s what life is doing right now. Our biggest job is to stay off the brake. Don’t try to steer, or stop, just enjoy the ride. We are integrating so many new codes, our bodies are pretty much maxed out just with that. Be gentle with yourself, and prioritize self-care.

While we are integrating and embodying, it gives us time to pause to reconsider our trajectory. Are you really heading where you want to go? Or are you escaping where you are? Are you running toward something with joy? Or are you running away from your current situation? This is an important distinction right now. Really think on this.

This is about the current Age of Aquarius (astrological Ages last a little over 2000 years). The last Age, of Pieces, was about the individual fitting into the social norm – think religion, marriage, gender roles – following orders to strengthen the whole through a united front. The Age of Aquarius strengthens the whole through individual diversity. We all use our individual unique gifts, in support of the collective. This requires each individual to find and share their true gifts.

For an example, let’s say you want to be a yoga teacher. What could be wrong with that? Well, if you love yoga, and you love teaching, then it’s probably a fantastic idea. If it just sounds like a better way to pay the bills than your office job, we aren’t there yet. Don’t get me wrong, stepping stones are great, I just want you to ponder what really lights you up inside. That’s where we’re going.

Ultimately, the current Age supports service to the whole. If money wasn’t a factor, what would you do? If your answer is some form of permanent vacation, we really aren’t there yet. And I’m not saying to quit your day job, just to think on this a bit. Where is your joy, your spark? What makes you happy to be alive? I bet it has something to do with others. I’m a pretty extreme introvert, and still the collective (and even a few individuals) play a big part in my happiness.

Most of September 2019 will be about embodying, and refining what our gifts really are. The top priority is taking care of your body. The past two months have included many downloads, and your body is trying to find space for them all. Let this happen. Allow your thoughts and plans to change. Let life move you, without hitting the brakes.

And something I’ve found helpful… When I am grumpy and overwhelmed, it means I’ve changed my focus from running toward joy, to running from circumstance. That shifts me from attracting support from the Universe, to “I have to make things work”. I start trying to hard. I rev the engine, forgetting the car is in neutral. So if things suddenly get hard, look at where you need to relax into the flow.

And a tip for the control freaks (people of my heart)… Make self-care a “thing”. If you need to be doing something to feel okay, redefine what counts as “doing something”. Taking a walk is doing something. Fixing a fresh meal is doing something. Taking a bath is doing something. If it has to be external, reading a book, cleaning out a closet, and playing with the dog are all doing something.

We no longer work to fit into social norms. We now use our unique gifts to lift each other up. Welcome to New Earth. May we each embody the codes.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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Dancing with the Divine

We have been doing the dance of creation all year, but now Spirit (our own Higher Selve) takes the lead. In a smooth dance, only one partner leads. It’s a challenge for all of us to “follow”, when we’ve been so conditioned to make things happen all the time. We are now asked to trust the path, at a level we’ve never experienced before. This is when we are moved onto a different timeline. If we surrender to it, it will be much smoother.

It’s still a dance, and both partners need to actively participate. You can’t go limp, and expect to be dragged. Well, I suppose you could, but it would be as painful as fighting for the lead. Let life guide you, and take steps in that direction.

This is embodiment. The true Divine Union of your body and your Higher Self. This is evolution in process. It’s incredibly uncomfortable, and yet, a wonder to behold. The waves of nausea are tied to Gaia’s electromagnet body (pole shift). The waves of exhaustion are tied to integration. The ringing in the ears is a download of new codes. The waves of anxiety are tied to the collapse of linear time. In addition, my eyesight is fluctuating dramatically, and I have an aversion to the sun. Not sure what those are tied to, but both are new for me.

Let the Divine move in – into your own body. Let the light of the new wash away the old. Let go of the ego stories. Make self-care the priority. You didn’t fail. You can’t “do” something to make this easier. Stop resisting evolution. This is happening. Best to support the process.

It’s okay if it isn’t easy. I’m actually terrified, but I’m still putting one foot in front of the other. I have been directed to go on a few road trips lately, and I do it, even when the ego is having a meltdown. I listen to my body, and rest whenever it needs. I even sit with the ego for its tantrums, but I don’t let it decide my course. It’s okay to have a considerable amount of resistance, just don’t mistake your story for the truth.

With all the physical and emotional turmoil going on, remember 2 things: Listen to your body, and keep the observer mind engaged. I feel everything, but I also step back and observer myself. It’s great both to notice patterns, and to keep from being consumed by the process. Care and compassion for the body is essential for it to do the work of ascension. Physical embodiment requires support for the physical vessel.

We were built for this. This is what we came for. You may want to revisit the 2019 energy forecast – 2019 Year of the Gathering. Welcome to the dance.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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Emotional Clearing

Everyone I talk to is going through a deep emotional clearing. This makes it sound like lots of tears and turmoil, but it could be just insights you never had before. For me, it’s an insight, followed by seeing the pattern in my whole life, followed by a wave of nausea. At this point, I just want to crawl into a hole, to avoid the dysfunction of any relationship. It feels endless, even though I understand it’s just a clearing. Add the physical ascension symptoms, and it’s been a rough week.

I lean toward the codependent (empath) side of the narcissist trap, but just enough for the initial attraction. I highly recommend the book ‘Whole Again’ by Jackson MacKenzie or a youtube video about the Human Magnet Syndrome (Ross Rosenberg)   . I know there are truly unstable people out there, but I also believe most of us fall on a spectrum. Instead of seeing good guys and bad guys, it’s most beneficial to know we all have some elements of dysfunction. The important parts are awareness and effort to heal. If someone won’t put in the work, just walk away. It feels like a good time to repost this…

~The Empath and the Narcissist~

There are so many articles out there right now about the toxic relationship between an empath and a narcissist, obviously written by those who have been hurt, and feel manipulated and betrayed. I have a different take on the situation. Saw that one coming, didn’t you?

First, let’s change the labels of the groups. No more good vs. bad stuff. Instead of empath we will say awake (soul driven), instead of narcissist let’s say asleep (ego driven). Language matters. We can reduce the polarity, as well as provide a much more accurate assessment. Not only that, but I personally know people who are empathically gifted (they can physically feel other people’s emotions), but are very much asleep.

Second, know that all of us operate on a sliding scale between the two, and we change position regularly. We can be very awake, then suffer a loss (like a death or an illness), and go back to sleep to avoid the pain. People self-medicate all the time with alcohol, social excess, and promiscuous sex to avoid living consciously. Being awake can be tough. We all check out from time to time.

Third, and probably most importantly, we need to understand that most manipulative behavior is subconscious. People (generally) don’t consciously manipulate; that takes much more energy and planning than most are even capable of. The ego, however, has full access to the power of the subconscious, and will do anything to avoid harm. All of us are manipulated by our own egos, to some extent. It still isn’t right by any means, but thinking someone is consciously manipulating you is giving them way too much credit (and power).

Communicating with those still asleep is almost impossible, at least about anything important to the relationship. Ego defenses go up, and rational thought goes out the window. This is where we get all the passive-aggressive behaviors, and the emotional manipulation. Ever try to voice a concern about your feelings, only to have your partner turn it around, and point out how hurt they are? This is the kind of subconscious behavior that runs the muggle world. You can’t break through their ego shield, but many of us keep trying for way too long.

Another issue is projection… mostly on the part of the awakened person. See, we think projection is limited to negative stuff, but it isn’t. As we awaken, we get more sparkly, and we tend to see our own Light reflected in others – we see Light that hasn’t been embodied yet. The fact is everyone has an amazing soul, but not everyone lives from their soul. When you begin to live from your own soul, you see the highest potential in others. I don’t mean “he would be so successful if he just had confidence,” I mean “Wow! He embodies the Divine Masculine!” In reality, he could embody Divinity, if his ego wasn’t running the show. It is entirely up to us to distinguish potential from embodied reality.

I think the hardest part for the awakened one in these relationships is taking full responsibility for getting sucked in, having to leave, and not repeating the pattern. In other words, to awaken even further, become more aware, and reclaim our personal power. It’s tough to admit there were signs you ignored. It’s not fun to know you allowed this damage to happen. Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for being human. We all do crazy things for love, even forget who we are. You always get lessons in the process. You will heal.

Instead of a list of things to avoid, I want to offer a few things to pay attention to. As we become more aware, we can make choices that support our evolution.

Do actions and words mach the sparkly soul? We all have off days, and no one is perfect, but is there constant negativity going on, in word or deed?
Are words followed by action? Do they do, or just dream? We all need a little daydream in our lives, but plans require action to materialize.
Are they consistent? Again, we all have off days, so don’t expect perfection, but intermittent reward is a major ego trick. If some behavior is really important to you, and the other person agrees to it, it should be a permanent change. If it only changes briefly after a fight, that’s a big sign.
Is communication open? Are you comfortable raising concerns? If your communications are filled with tears, blame, and guilt, then there isn’t much actual communication going on.
Do you both own your baggage? We all have baggage, but insisting the other person carry yours is completely unreasonable.
Are you both dedicated to becoming better people? If you are both dedicated to your own evolution, then you can help each other grow, instead of tearing each other down.

There are those who see the signs, but think they are strong enough to wait for the person they love to wake up. It just doesn’t work that way. People don’t wake up by following your example, people wake up by shock. Keeping someone safe in a relationship is just giving them a warm blanket to keep sleeping under. I’m so sorry – this one is really hard for me, too – you can’t awaken someone before they are ready. Ever. And forcing yourself to stay at a lower vibration will cause suffering and illness. It just does. The only way out, is out.

The awakened soul must reclaim their power by forgiving themselves, being clear with their boundaries, and letting go of those who are still sleeping. You will heal. You will love again. But first, you must come to terms with the situation. Leave them to their slumber, and move on. Reclaim your power.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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* Your Unique Path *

Although I have always promoted the idea of being yourself, and honestly I’ve done that pretty well, there is always more growth to be had. We never stop growing, because evolution (or ascension) is an ongoing process. We always see with fresh eyes, as we ascend the spiral of spiritual development. That said, this past week has been full of epiphanies for me. I am never the only one going through this, so I want to share the more profound stuff, in the hope it will prompt your own revelations.

Humans pattern themselves subconsciously by exposure. We learn to be how, and who, we are. Add to that the cellular information given to our bodies, and it’s no wonder things “run in the family”. Not only physical characteristics, but personality traits. Yes, with introspection we can see some of these learned traits, but more pop up as we keep digging. And dig we must, or we never truly live our own lives.

Add to this formative and traumatic events. These can come from someone close, or not. We spend much of our subconscious energy on either trying to be like, or not like, someone else. But who are we? That’s the million dollar question. Even if we choose to emulate someone we admire, is that authentic? How can we tell if we are really aligned with our unique selves?

I have an Uncle who spent his entire life trying to imitate the loving devotion of his Mother, and the charismatic wit of his Father. He failed. He was a pale shadow of his parent’s beauty. What’s worse, he never found himself. It was a life un-lived, always trying to fit himself into someone else’s shoes. I’m sure he had gifts of his own to share.

In my early twenties, I was really trying to be as loving as my Grandma, with little success. She was an amazing woman that truly shaped my life, and died when I was 18. When I realized I couldn’t be like her, I actually wept. I knew I had to live my own life, or continue to feel the failure of trying to be someone else. Eventually, I came to the thought that she was amazing because she was so very her. I decided the best way to honor her memory was to be so very me.

I thought I had been doing that, I truly did. Then I read a book called ‘Whole Again’ by Jackson Mackenzie, for a totally different reason, and traits I picked up from my Mom started standing out. Once again, she was an amazing woman, because she was so very her. This time, I wasn’t consciously trying to imitate her, I just picked up some of her traits as a child. I only now see how far from my own path these traits are.

I started realizing some of my reactions weren’t even my own, but they sure sounded a lot like my Mom. After I gathered together some of the seemingly unsolvable inner conflicts, I could see clearly the conflict was in trying to live her path, as well as my own. We have very different paths. Both beautiful, but very different. She died in 2010, but I’m quite sure she would want me to be fully me.

Even our numerology points to different life work. She was fiercely independent, while I am here to work in partnership with others. She had a lot of struggle with authority and power, but probably due to all her inner work, I don’t have that one. The part in the book that tipped me off was about codependency. She had issues with it, while I have always felt I have two voices in my head on that one. Makes sense now. Her voice, and my voice.

When these dots aligned, I felt such a wave of energy through my body. Warm, and happy, and light, with lots of giggles. It’s like my body said “Finally! Welcome home!” Listen to your body. It knows more than we do, and it’s always trying to steer us toward our path. If your body isn’t healthy and happy, really make an effort to see where your ego or subconscious is out of alignment with your path. And when you find your way back, plan on purging the old. I haven’t had nightmares in years, but this past week has been like my subconscious is vomiting. Really unpleasant dreams.

The healing never ends. We just do what we can with the layer we’re on. Keep reading. Keep taking classes. Keep doing the work of remembering who you truly are. Everything we do brings us closer to our unique path.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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* How the Other Half Thinks *

This is my version of men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I love to watch how people process information, and I love when others share their insights with me. This topic had to be pointed out to me, probably because I think in a more masculine way. Sometimes. We all have both masculine and feminine energies and habits at play, regardless of gender. And for the record, this writing is about mental processing, and nothing to do with gender or sexual identity. I will separate the groups into men and woman, but only for simplicity. If gender terms bother you, think of the groupings as electric and magnetic, or linear and circular. Again, it’s really just grouping by processing style, not necessarily by gender. I want to share these insights, so we can all become more aware and balanced in our thinking.

Women tend to start with the big picture, then work down to the individual. Men tend to start with the individual, then work up to the big picture. Think about this a bit. If you are always shaking your head at people staring at the opposite end of the argument, it may just be a processing difference. Let them work through the layers, and they will (probably) find their way to where you started. This was a huge revelation for me, and really strengthened my communication skills.

Another fascinating tidbit is how we work. My Mom pointed this one out to me, and it has saved me so much exasperation! Women think an endless “to do” list is normal, and if you aren’t moving, something is terribly wrong. Men tend to have one task in mind at a time. They like to plan for it, prepare for it, do it, then celebrate its completion, before moving on. Let’s look at our caveman history…

Once upon a time, the men were responsible for bringing home a kill, to feed the tribe for weeks. It was important to plan and prepare for this task. The survival of a whole tribe depended on this one task. And when it was done, it was celebrated by all for days. (side note: Men generally are more able to hold a single focus, and have more developed spacial awareness.)

Meanwhile, the women were responsible for keeping the home fires burning. This included an endless list of daily chores, which never stopped. Remember, at this point they weren’t chores, they were the stuff of life. Cooking, tending to children, making and washing clothes… all the day-to-day work of living. And as long as you’re able, you keep moving. (side note: Women are generally better at multi-tasking.)

In our modern world, neither group is doing what our genes demand. The endless tedium of our work schedule leaves the male side unfulfilled. Leaving the home to work, on top of the chores of life, leaves the female side overwhelmed. The shadows of the eternal child and the martyr are in full bloom. No one is happy with the way things are.

My goal here is simply to raise awareness of parts of this unconscious issue. I’m not even vaguely suggesting that we return to gender-based roles. I just want to mention that we all have a genetic link to a past we rarely think of, and also that we are each in the process of balancing these energies within. We all go out and hunt (work). We all tend to our home life (chores, kids). We all have access to both the negative and positive energies of each.

We can feel disenchanted by our jobs, vowing to remain as childlike as possible, or we can celebrate the fact that our “hunt” provides food. We can be overwhelmed by the chores, feeling victimized and unsupported, or we can be joyful that we have “things” to tend to. I’m suggesting mentally reframing our experience, not suppressing the negative emotion around it. Just really be aware of what’s at work within you, and consider changing your views on life. Know thyself. As always, awareness brings freedom.

The shadow of the male side is always looking for an escape. This endless list of life isn’t natural to this half of the mind. The solution is to know the list never ends, and it isn’t supposed to. You will only stop doing the chores of life when life ends. Stop dreaming of a distant shore, where you will magically have every need met, without any effort. Try singing while you clean, or through a few dance steps into your dinner preparation. Celebrate the work of living.

The shadow of the female side is to be in a constant state of overwhelm. Yes, it is a lot to do both work and home, but you can do it. The solution is to celebrate every accomplishment. If you went to work, you “hunted” today. Good for you! If you did laundry or dishes, you were tending to life. Good for you! The female side was never taught to celebrate each accomplishment, because it works from a never-ending list. Celebrate each individual task.

Since we are all working to balance both sides of this polarity, I recommend you use both reframing tools – sing during “life work”, and celebrate each accomplishment. I usually have music on during chores, so that part is pretty natural for me. Taking notice of accomplishments is harder for me, so I usually mentally list them before bed… “Today I got groceries, brushed the dog, and dusted. Yay me! I did more than I thought.” Figure out how you need to reframe your thinking, and do so for your own happiness.

You may also want to read my writing on finding balance with the Masculine and Feminine energy within. It’s worth the contemplation to discover how you think… and how the other half does, as well.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!


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* The Three Brains *

Quick energy update: Hang in there! It’s been a squirrelly month, and a really tough week. Everything is moving in the right direction, regardless of outside appearances. I personally have slept more this month than I ever thought possible, while many of my friends have been ridiculously busy. We are all integrating the new light codes exactly as we need to.  Be gentle with yourself and others right now. Self-care and self-love are the best things at the moment. I have been working on my next Level II Merkaba class, and the three brains is part of it. Just something to ponder (and distract you from the havoc)…

The Mystery Schools (and now science) tell us that not everything is controlled by the brains in our skulls. In fact, we have three distinct centers of function: The brain, the heart, and the gut. Science acknowledges the cellular significance, while the Mystery Schools go more into the energetics. I will try to include a bit of both in my explanation.

The gut is vital for absorbing nutrients and eliminating toxins. A disruption to the natural micro-biome (probiotic balance) has been tied to Autism, and several digestive issues. Along with that, the 2nd and 3rd chakras work together in this area, to assimilate information (2nd, subconscious, inward), and present it in our lives (3rd, action, outward).   Cellular memory is governed by the 2nd chakra. Gut health is physical health, and the body’s ability to heal itself naturally.

The body is not only the Temple of the Soul, but also a self-healing independent organism. Like all of nature, it was designed to thrive in health, and heal quickly when damaged. It wants to exist in health and balance. It was also designed to live much longer and more vibrantly than we currently experience as normal. Supporting the health of the gut allows the body to do its job.

The brain and spinal cord carry impulses and information, meant to flow unimpeded. This involves the 5th and 6th chakras working to assimilate information (6th, intuitive knowledge, inward), and present it to the world (5th, creativity, outward). If the intuitive voice gets drowned out by the thinking mind, then the outward voice is less loving, and less powerful. The flow from 6th to 5th is diminished by an overactive mind.

The observer mind is the Mind of God, while the monkey mind is the mind of ego. It is our duty to train the ego mind, and keep it from running the show. Through meditation, positive thought practice, awareness, and redirection of thoughts we can teach the monkey mind what to focus on, and what to let go. Our ego mind makes up (and maintains) stories. It’s our job to define the stories it tells.

Even though we talk about them separately, everything is connected. Gut trouble can effect thinking. Wrong thinking can effect physical health. They are intertwined, but easier to understand in pieces. In today’s society, we discipline the body (with fad diets, and rigorous exercise) while we feed the mind endlessly (entertainment mostly). That’s backwards. It’s the mind that requires discipline, while the body needs nourishment and support.

The heart muscle carries all kinds of interesting cells, tied both to cellular memory and neurology. Science knows it is much more than just a pump. In the Mystery Schools, the heart (4th chakra) is the gateway to everything unseen, other dimensions of consciousness, the Light itself. The thing about the heart is that it opens when it opens; it can’t be forced. The best we can do is tend to the gut and the brain, to create a safe environment for it to open. Keeping it closed is easier to define – mistreat your gut and misuse your thinking mind (meaning eat poorly, and dwell on negative thoughts). It is our sacred duty to nourish the body, and train the mind. The heart will open with the proper environment.

Support the gut, discipline the mind, and allow the heart to open.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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Just for Fun

The eclipses have sent us all reeling. The guidance I keep getting is, “Relax. We got this.” I am still responsible to stay the course, and away from fear. And fear has been knocking… I just refuse to answer. Anyway, I wrote a workplace fairytale many year ago, and just came across it. I am sending it to you, in hopes of brightening your day with a little humor. Keep life light right now, and let the world move around you. Enjoy!

“Once upon a time, there was an idealistic, young airline executive named Sir CC. Sir CC believed that the airline industry could be revolutionized with the proper technology and software. One day someone with a thick German accent told Sir CC of a state-of-the-art flight planning system called LIDO that would save time and money for all who used it. LIDO was magical software that would actually make airplanes burn less fuel and remove the requirement to employ FAA certified dispatchers.

Sir CC was very happy to learn of this magical system and endeavored to implement it immediately. Unfortunately, Aero Azul refused to accept this story, and soon thereafter Sir CC traveled west to make his fortune at another airline, Front-n-Rear, in desperate need of technological advancement. At this new airline, Sir CC began telling people about the magic of LIDO within months of his arrival, because he was so excited to see his new employer lead the industry.

But even though Sir CC believed so deeply in the magic of LIDO, others at Front-n-Rear wanted to see comparisons and charts and graphs to prove LIDO’s power. This was a daunting task, but luckily Sir CC had a trusty side-kick named Grumble the Weasel who could do all the leg work for this project. His name was somewhat misleading, for while Grumble’s values resembled that of a weasel, his appearance was more like an angry leprechaun. Grumble was hesitant at first, because he wasn’t fond of extra work, but he became quite enthusiastic when his research required an expense paid trip to Germany. Soon Grumble became as enchanted with LIDO as Sir CC and he devised a plan to bring it to Front-n-Rear, and at the same time, expand his own professional horizons.

First, Grumble set up comparison trials with other flight planning systems and invited the dispatchers to various presentations. Whenever a dispatcher would raise a question about LIDO, Grumble would tell them they just didn’t understand how magical LIDO was. Then Grumble calculated that Front-n-Rear would save $9M per year using LIDO. When the dispatchers pointed out that was impossible, Grumble would tell them they didn’t understand such complex calculations. Then Grumble told all who doubted LIDO that he could personally think of nothing better for dispatchers, pilots and the bottom line. When the dispatchers said it wasn’t user-friendly and took up to 5 times longer for them to produce paperwork, Grumble told them they were just being resistant to change.

The executives were so impressed with Grumble’s charts and graphs and inflated numbers that they agreed to bring LIDO to Front-n-Rear. Shortly thereafter, Grumble was hired by LIDO to sell their product to other airlines, and the Front-n-Rear executives took this as further proof of Grumble’s complete belief in the system. To this day, no one knows for sure what his motivations were, but considering his personality and values, it is suspected that this move was “best for Grumble” and probably quite lucrative.

Sir CC was ecstatic. He finally succeeded in bringing LIDO to his small airline, thus bringing Front-n-Rear one step closer to being state-of-the-art in technological advancements. But all wasn’t well as Front-n-Rear began the transition to LIDO. The dispatchers kept pointing out problems. The software wasn’t compatible with other systems and departments. ATC refused to let Front-n-Rear fly the magical plans and disregard all their rules.

Sir CC was discouraged and began to doubt the magic of LIDO. But then he thought back to the feeling of exhilaration he felt when the man with the German accent first told him of this system, and remembered how much energy and belief he had invested in this mission. So Sir CC quickly surrounded himself with agreeable people that would support him in his vision of magical software, and pressed on.

The dispatchers had to eventually come to the only logical conclusion: one of them must have inadvertently broken a mirror, thus condemning the group to a 7-year contract with LIDO.”



Part Deux


These were dark and dangerous times at Front-n-Rear Airlines. The implementation of the LIDO system brought many flight delays and a deep depression to the entire Flight Ops department. The dispatchers could be heard whispering the Serenity Prayer under their breath: Lord, grant to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed, courage to change that which can be changed, and wisdom to know the difference.

Indeed, the wisest of the dispatchers were striving for the serenity to accept LIDO, for the decision was clearly out of their hands and above their heads. A few of the moderately wise dispatchers attempted to alert various managers and directors to the evils of LIDO, but were swiftly greeted with the same “change is hard” mantra and promptly ignored. There was only one dispatcher, Natty the Rookie, who persisted in parading the truth long beyond the point of reason.

Natty suffered from a serious affliction called philo-psycho-ful engorgement which, coupled with her uncommon abundance of common sense, resulted in an almost constant sense of bewilderment at the actions of her superiors, and an obsessive drive to understand how they could reach such ridiculous decisions. The other dispatchers graciously accepted her as part of the group, though few took her seriously owing to her world-view being too big and her understanding of the proper order of a workplace too small. But this LIDO business was just the thing for Natty to obsess over and it generally kept her occupied and out of the way, so no one objected much.

Natty enjoyed finding patterns in behavior and this LIDO debacle reminder her of a situation many years ago in a nearby kingdom where an emperor was sold some high-end, designer, magical clothes. Either due to poor quality magic in the manufacturing process, or really good salesmanship of thin air, the emperor ended up with his end out, as he paraded around proudly in his birthday suit. How he didn’t notice the chill is another matter. Natty couldn’t help but wonder if the tailor involved in that incident also had a heavy German accent or was a distant relative of Grumble the Weasel, since they were both instrumental in acquiring LIDO at Front-n-Rear. This was too great a puzzle for even her overly analytical mind to process and she eventually had to seek expert assistance.

Her journey to deeper understanding started with the Ghoul of Corporate Greed. Natty asked the Ghoul what would possess an ambitious, young executive to replace a functioning system with a nearly legal and highly dysfunctional one, based only on the promise of unreasonable results. The Ghoul replied in a somewhat condescending tone, “Silly girl! The answer is in the charts and graphs… the numbers show it will save the company money! Money is the only reasonable basis for any decision.”

Now Natty had pondered human psychology ad nauseam and knew that if the people didn’t have the proper tools to do their job theoretical cost savings was a moot point, and she politely queried the Ghoul on this concept. The Ghoul replied, “What works or does not work is no concern of mine. Numbers are the only basis I rely on and profit for the shareholders is my only goal. You should be thankful! It is only because of my greed that we can afford to pay your measly wages!” Natty could sense the Ghoul’s patience growing thin, and decided to take her leave before pay cuts could be discussed.

Although the Ghoul of Corporate Greed had a terribly skewed view of the world, it was nonetheless quite a chilling encounter. Natty took a few moments to verify her alliances were a bit more balanced, and promised herself she would never mistake greed for a reasonable excuse to do anything, especially to adversely affect a group of people who just want to do their jobs. After assessing the encounter, Natty decided that the Ghoul’s perception of the world was cold and lifeless and the people she worked for were not (in various degrees of not), and there must be more to the puzzle than this. She needed insight into the more passionate, human side of poor decisions…


Meanwhile, back at Front-n-Rear, Sir CC was living in the midst of the turbulence of LIDO. As more and more people took note of the ill effects of this magical software, more and more people questioned the wisdom of his decision. Some even said LIDO was fashioned with dark magic and they questioned Sir CC’s true intentions. Poor Sir CC felt confused and lost, and his unwavering faith in LIDO now wavered, thus letting in the smallest glimmer of doubt. And doubt, of course, is the precursor to progress, as it allows one to question answers and open the mind to new possibilities.

Sir CC conferred with his newly appointed side-kick, commonly known as the Martyr of Jargon, about his doubts. The Martyr, having been placed rather unwillingly in the middle of the whole mess, suggested that they temporarily remove LIDO from common use so that they may learn more of its magic, and reevaluate the promises given with the contract. “Perhaps,” said the Martyr, “we are trying to use the magical software incorrectly. Or perhaps… perhaps we have been swindled!” While this idea was disturbing to Sir CC, it was time such things be considered, even at great risk to his dreams of magical software.


After a brief scan of the Yellow Pages, Natty found her next destination, which took days of determination to reach. As she arrived at the cave at the top of the mountain she saw a kindly old wizard picking daisies in a field of wild flowers. He appeared to be wearing a night dress and cap, and was quietly singing to himself. Odd as this seemed, Natty cleared her throat loudly and asked, “Excuse me, but are you the Guru listed in the phone book?” The man turned to her and smiled a most pleasant smile, looking carefree and comfortable in his unusual attire with his daisies, one tucked behind his left ear.

“Hello there,” the Guru said, “Are you inside my head or out?” “Out,” Natty replied, wondering if this journey was for not, “I was hoping you could tell me why people make bad decisions and then stick to them.” “I see,” said the Guru, “Being that I am the Guru of Ego, I suppose I would be a good person to ask.”

“Um… yes, that was precisely what I supposed.”

“But are you ready for the consequences of this knowledge? For it is quite difficult to unlearn things, and with the power of knowledge comes the weight of integrating new information. Not exactly a relaxing hobby.”

“My mind is wrought with the desperation of trying, without success, to understand how people can make such strange decisions with such conviction, and nary a care about the obvious issues involved. I am exhausted! The weight of integrating this new information will be a welcomed respite.”

At this point, the Guru of Ego led Natty to a lovely group of large rocks arranged as a small table and chairs, and motioned for her to take a seat. “The long and the short of it,” said the Guru, “is simply that self-delusion is the key to true happiness.” Natty attempted, with no success, to understand that statement, and finally had to admit defeat. The Guru adjusted his night dress to cross his legs and continued, “People are generally run by their egos, with little attention paid to logical thought, especially when logic interferes with the course the ego has set. The only thing the ego wants is to get its way and be right, and it controls the person’s behavior to accomplish this.”

“So we are all controlled by our egos?”

“Generally, yes.”

“But that doesn’t make sense. Wouldn’t logic and reasoning be better?”

“Generally, yes.”

“So humans sabotage themselves by ignoring logic in order to satisfy the ego’s need to be right?”

“Now you’re getting it!”


“Now I really must tend to my flowers. This has been a most enjoyable visit, you should return some time for more tea.”

“We didn’t have tea…”

“Good day.”

And with that the Guru of Ego turned and began singing to himself once again, dancing amongst the wild flowers. Natty wasn’t quite sure which alternate reality she had happened upon, but decided it was best to descend the mountain and try to return to her own world. But the Guru was right about one thing, this information about the human ego wasn’t easy to integrate. Some things are better left a mystery, and it is quite a task to un-learn something, especially something so fundamental to the quest to understand bad decisions.

Natty spent the journey home in quite a funk. People had to be made of something more than greed and ego. If that were the whole picture progress would be a product of happenstance and no useful skills could ever be applied. What a mess!

As Natty relayed the stories of her adventures to her co-workers, she was still at a loss as to what to do with this conundrum. Luckily, friends generally have a firm grasp of the obvious, and point it out readily. The current monarch of Front-n-Rear was known for his cunning and would most certainly be interested in this costly, ego-based endeavor. So it was settled… Natty the Rookie was off to visit Sylvester Monetary, or Sly Money as his friends called him.

Not many people had a personal audience with Sly. Not that he was too busy, more that he was a little intimidating. He never let on what he was really thinking, a defining attribute of being cunning and business savvy; and knowing that the Ghoul of Corporate Greed made regular visits to board meetings made it that much more unsettling to speak with Sly. Especially alone, as Natty the Rookie found herself again.

Natty knocked on the big, oak door, for even though it was open (as was policy) it did not appear welcoming. “Come in,” said Sly, “Please have a seat and tell me what’s on your mind.” I may very well be completely out of my mind, Natty thought to herself. But she politely took a seat across the big, oak desk from Sly, and told him her sordid tale.

Sly listened attentively, but never showed any sign of what he was thinking. At the end of the story Sly simply said, “Thank you for sharing your concerns,” with a sense of finality in his tone. Natty took her leave, feeling very little hope, but knowing that she had at least tried every option available to revive the flailing and weak body of common sense.


The weeks turned into months, and still there was very little news to brighten the days in dispatch. Then one day, quite unexpectedly, Sly announced he was courting a rather homely woman in Indiana. This was a wonderful union for Sly and all the employees at Front-N-Rear, as this would unite both their kingdoms under one Republic. It was only a week later that LIDO was returned (with force) to the German with the thick accent.

No one knows exactly what transpired within Sir CC, or even if that mattered at all to the outcome. Did Sly talk some sense into him? Did his brain overcome his ego? Did the Martyr of Jargon prove that LIDO held no magic power at all? Whatever it was, it was cause for celebration, as the dispatchers were finally free of this dysfunctional software. Shortly thereafter, Sir CC graciously stepped down from his post, hopefully having learned quite a bit about people, corporate greed, his own ego, and the true cost of sticking to a bad decision. At last report, he was headed even further west to court a young Virgin.


And this is the story of how the dispatchers were saved from the evils of LIDO… and there is still much rejoicing.

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*Feeling, Wallowing, and Denial*

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I have heard many teachers talk about the need to feel whatever comes up. Usually, sometimes in the next breath, they tell us to shift our reality to higher states. It can be confusing, even when you know exactly what they’re saying. So which is it, feel or shift? Both actually. Let me try my hand at an explanation.

Refusal to feel an emotion is just denial. The current phrase is ‘spiritual by-passing’. It never works out. Usually, emotions just get stuffed down deep, and come bursting out at the worst moment. Or worse, these unfelt emotions can cause physical issues. No one wants that. We all have moments of unpleasantness, no matter how much we try to avoid them. Negative thoughts and feelings just happen. They aren’t a sign of failure.

Wallowing is having a thought or feeling, and attaching a story to keep it going. The attachment is identification AS that thought or feeling. You are not the sum total of your thoughts and feelings, no matter how intense they are. You don’t need to stay in that self-inflicted torment any longer than the passing moment. Yes, you need to consciously acknowledge the feeling, but you don’t need to believe the story you built around it. “Let it go” doesn’t mean don’t feel, it just means release attachment to the story. It’s okay to keep moving.

The real art to this issue is witnessing without attachment. Feel the feeling, without becoming it. Think the thought, without believing it’s true. Witness your life, without being limited by a story of your own invention. 

It mostly comes down to awareness. Being aware of the feelings as they arise. Being aware of your thoughts as they drift by. Being aware that both thoughts and feelings are an experience you are having, not a definition of self. It is real mastery to be able to witness your own thoughts and feelings without becoming them. Letting an emotion roll through your body without a story can be terrifying at first. (Control freaks be warned!) It gets easier with practice.

This is where the “shift your energy” comes into play. After you fully acknowledge how crappy you feel, go do something to keep from dwelling on it. Take a bath, go for a walk, read a book, whatever. Allow yourself to shift. If you’re going through hell, keep going. Witness it, be fully conscious of it, but keep going. No need to dottle where it’s dismal. I usually say to myself, “Wow, this sucks. I haven’t cried like this in ages. I must be releasing something. Now that I’m done crying, what’s next?” I fully feel it, but I allow myself to move.

As we develop these coping skills, the lows are fewer and shorter. The fastest way out is straight through. Many people spend much time and energy trying to avoid negative feelings, and it’s actually pretty quick if you dive right in. Others waste time in the thick of it, by identifying with a story that perpetuates the emotion. Awareness. Witness your thoughts and feelings without attachment.

And we all fall into a story sometimes. Instead of berating yourself say, “Wow! I really believed that for a minute! How funny!” Be gentle with yourself in this process. Society was never geared toward introspection and witnessing. Remember, when you were young, having to apologize to another child for hurting their feelings? I sure do. We have all been taught that hurting someone’s story is to be avoided. Witnessing is a novel concept to most.

We tend to view unpleasant thoughts and feelings as failure, but we all have them. If you need a way to measure progress, here are two:
1) Where do you spend the majority of your time?
2) How quick is your recovery, when you fall into the pit?
I used to spend most of my time in anger, but now I spend most of my time in peace. I used to be down for days with a funk, then it was hours, now it’s usually minutes. I still fall, as we all do, but I no longer stay there. Progress.

Don’t plan on leaving all negativity behind. Instead, endeavor to progress in your own self-mastery.  Feel it, and let it move through you without attachment. Witness your existence, and keep moving.


A special thanks to those who have donated (donate button on the right) – it really helps! If this info is helpful, you can follow my blog (lower right side of page) to have posts delivered directly to your inbox, or you can follow me on Facebook. You may also enjoy my books, Waking Up Indigo and Walking In Both Worlds, available at Amazon!

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