Early in my spiritual development (teens & 20s) I had two very formative experiences: my Grandma’s memorial service, and reading a study on behavior of the elderly. Both of which brought my attention to who I am in the world, and the emotional mark I leave, both for myself and others.

After Grandma died, we had a memorial service at her church. People all said the nice things that you would expect, but the thing that stood out for me was they actually meant it. Grandma had affected their lives in such a way that people were truly expressing how grateful they were to know her. I was 18, and wondered what people would say about me if I suddenly died. Uh-oh. Guess I have some work to do…

A few years later, I read a study trying to determine if people got nicer or meaner as they aged. Know what they found? People become more themselves as they age, which explains why some get nicer and some get meaner. In my personal experience, this is also true with brain injury (like stroke) and disease (Alzheimer’s). Whatever aspect of their personality they have spent time developing (consciously or unconsciously) comes to the forefront.

The good news is that your personality isn’t fixed. Just like changing your diet and exercise regimen will change both the appearance and function of your body, similar changes in your mental diet and process will change your personality. I used to be quite competitive and angry, both of which I rarely experience anymore. It is a conscious lifestyle change, but I’m proof it can be done. Feed your mind (books, tv, conversations) with healthy things, and clean it out regularly (meditation, prayer).

This isn’t just about the mark you leave, and how you make others feel. This is about your own quality of life. Two reasons: You have to live with you everyday until your last breath, and you will be surrounded with people and experiences of the same vibration. If I chose to stay angry, I could expect to get angrier with age, and be surrounded with people who like to argue. I’m glad I chose to let that one go. I don’t miss it. And my liver (associated with anger) is functioning better, also.

Find a reference point, then start small. Either pick a roll model (mine is Gandhi), or visualize a future self you want to become, then make little changes in your behavior. Is your future self more open? Smile and say hi to the grocery checker, or keep an eye open for a neighbor needing help with their garden. It doesn’t matter how these gestures are received, what matters is you’re consciously changing your behavior. Change can be uncomfortable at first. Do it anyway. With practice comes confidence, then more changes, but only you can take these steps.

Mastery of Thought, Word, and Deed
Deed – Some are still struggling to master their deeds, their actions. Addiction, in its many forms, is the biggest issue here. Please seek the support you need to assist you.

Word – It honestly amazes me how many “spiritual” people out there still verbally dump on others. If you are triggered, it’s never okay to spew it at another. Ever. It’s normal to get triggered, but keep it inside your head and go work it out before you say anything out loud. This is maturity. Getting it all sorted inside yourself, then having a calm talk about it with the other person, that’s mastery. I completely understand the work involved here, and sometimes it takes days for me to (silently) work through the layers, before I can talk about it. Don’t verbally abuse, and don’t put up with it from others. Because…

Thought – I have been telepathic (hearing end of it) for almost two decades. Not just feelings, actual words. Some people think really loud. Recently, I’ve had two friends tell me I think really loud, and they can hear me. Shit. I was so proud of my verbal mastery (I truly never verbally dump on people, it’s just rude), but now I have to watch what I think. Shit. Shit. Shit! I have no experience with this aspect, how to shut it off, or even lower the volume. I am working with my guides to figure out mastery on this level, so I’ll update when I know more. Please leave a comment if you have any experience with telepathy.

I’m at the crest of the first big wave, so telepathy is inbound. The nice part is complete transparency. The bad part is complete transparency. Uh-oh. Guess I have some work to do…

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