I know there’s a lot going on out there, and there isn’t a ton of practical guidance. At some point, most of your guidance comes from within. That said, we all still need a little support sometimes, so I want to share some of my own tools that help me find clarity. They all still rely on awareness, so these tips are for folks who have developed the skill of observation, both of self and others. Hopefully, these tips will smooth your unique journey.
Listen to your intuition – Seems simple, but how do you know if it’s intuition or ego? It helps to figure out what part of your head got the message, and what it sounded or looked like. Exercise: Pick a single-syllable, non-emotional word, like book or chair. Close your eyes, and say this word silently. Notice the sound (or color, or sensation). Now say the word only in the front of your head. Then only in the back. Then one side at a time. Notice how it changes in tone, or visual, or whatever. Practice this everyday. When a story pops in that you know for sure is your ego, what area does it come from? This one takes practice, but it’s a useful tool.
Follow your gut feeling – The problem here is your feelings may be drastically different before, during, and after an encounter. Be really aware of your feelings at each stage. If you feel great, almost special, when you are with someone, then horrible afterward (like coming off a drug), then something is terribly wrong. If you feel horrible when they go, yet still long for their return, please consider there may be some serious codependency, or an entity, at work. Maybe both; they aren’t mutually exclusive. People and situations that are truly good for you leave a blissful, or at least happy, feeling in their wake. Really pay attention to how you feel after an encounter.
Just open your heart – It’s not a light switch; hearts open when they are ready. You can, however, make a supportive environment for your open heart. You can also create the chemical cocktail of emotion to encourage openness. Creating the environment includes practicing gratitude daily, breathing consciously, and being present. The emotional chemicals can be stirred by thinking of things that bring you joy, or even watching joyful videos. Why do you think so many people watch video clips of cats, dogs, or baby animals? It creates chemicals that relax us, and open us to love. Do, think, or watch whatever opens you, and feel how the body feels in that state. As you practice this, it creates a path to your heart, and leaves an invitation.
Heed advice from trusted friends – I am a total ask-hole (the asshole who asks for advice, then doesn’t take it). For this one, you have to be really aware of where your friends are operating from. I have friends who are very mental, and friends who are very intuitive, and several other options in between. I listen to each (I really do listen), then I decide which style of thinking suits my current situation. I then compare their solution to my own intuition, and make a choice. I’m not ignoring your input, it just might not be in line with my goals for the situation. Listen to those that care about you, but only you know what’s best for your path.
Listen to your body – There’s a good deal of trial and error here. Two big things: actively build a positive dialog with your body, and respond when you get a message. Be sure you speak to your body the same way you want to be spoken to. When someone tells me, “You suck, and you look like crap! Do better, and suck it up, Buttercup!” they just won’t get my full effort. On the other hand, if they say, “Are you okay? You have my full support to heal. Let me know what you need.” then I will be all in. Your thoughts and words matter more than I can say. And once your body asks for something, just do it, even if it’s not part of your routine. More sleep? More water? A steak? A handful of grapes? Respond to its requests, and thank it every chance you get.
View your life from the observer mind – The thing here is we can only observe briefly. There are several levels of ego mind, so use the observer to choose an ego level. For example, I love to reframe everything to “this is happening for me”, and that’s just refining the ego. The observer mind only observes. If there is any hint of self-judgement, right and wrong, then you are still in the ego. The observer mind watches without preference. It’s a great place to go to choose the ego response you want, but you still have to choose an ego response. Do I throw a fit, or do I laugh at myself? Is this situation happening to me, or for me? Do I get wrapped up in the past/future, or do I focus on the current moment? The ego is essential, but moldable. The observer mind gives you the pause to make a choice.
Doing these things on a regular basis raises our awareness, allowing us to make choices that support our best timeline experience. If you have other tips and tricks, please share them in the comments section. We are all on this crazy ride together, so let’s help each other any way we can!
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