Once upon a time, a long time ago, humanity fell from unity to polarity and separation. This greatly limited our ability to hold our natural dual energy, and it had to be divided by gender. Women held the feminine energy, while men held the masculine energy. There is much discussion as to why this happened. I am less concerned with the past, and more interested with the present reunification taking place. Now, each of us is capable, and responsible, of holding both polarities, regardless of gender.

Way back when we fell into polarity, women held the space for the physical body, and a nurturing environment. Men held the space for the higher mind, and new action in the world. This worked well at first, but in a world of polarity, a shadow side is inevitable. The greatest feminine shadows are victimization and manipulation. The greatest masculine shadows are abusiveness and immaturity (eternal child). We each hold the scars of all four  shadows in our subconscious.

Eventually, men looked to women for a connection to the physical world, and for nurturing. It devolved into needing a prostitute, or a mother. The value of women was reduced to sexual appeal, or homemaking skills. Women looked to men to make all the decisions, and all the money. It devolved into needing a sugar daddy to give all power to (no one really wants another’s power, it’s heavy). The value of a man was reduced to a paycheck, and carrying all the responsibility.

This is no longer about gender roles, though some still try to play these out. At this point in time, it’s about addressing the shadows of both polarities within. Are you viewing your own body as weak, or only worth something if it looks a certain way, or gives you pleasure? Do you use your mind only to get ahead, and your self-worth is dependent on monetary gain? Is your own mind (free will) abusive to your own body, or are they true partners? The world is out of kilter, and we change it by addressing our own imbalances.

A friend of mine was expressing concern about men finding their hearts. I explained that most of my work is with men. We decided that men and women just find their hearts in different ways. Naturally, this got me thinking about those differences, and how to describe them in the simplest way (because that’s what my brain does in its spare time).

Once upon a time, this could be divided into gender. Not anymore. For almost 200 years we have been unifying our dual energies, and now every one of us holds both masculine and feminine. Now, we fast forward to the present day, where this polarity is becoming inner unity. For this discussion, when I say “men”, I mean masculine energy, electric, outward, yang. When I say “women”, I mean feminine energy, magnetic, inward, yin. This isn’t about gender (anymore). I know many women with excessive masculine energy, and many men with excessive feminine energy. Only you know which energy is stronger for you. Please remember this has absolutely nothing to do with gender or sexual expression, at this point in time. Think in terms of energy.

After all that context, on to finding the inner door… We find it through balancing the two polarities within, so it’s about knowing where you are currently, and finding a path to strengthen the opposite pole.

From the feminine – This side is highly familiar with the body, physical nature, and using physical sensations as guidance. From here, the path to balance is using the mind to rewrite and consciously create new stories. Instead of feeling something in the body (emotion or intuition) and automatically attaching an old story (“I must feel this way because…”), try letting the body give information without jumping to conclusions about what it means. In other words, add in a pause for analytical thought. Still fully feel, but think about the story you keep replaying. You are in complete control of your stories. The stories you had probably served a purpose at one point, but they may be outdated. It’s okay to think about what you feel.

From the masculine – This side is highly familiar with the mind, taking action, and strategy. From here, the path to balance is through body awareness. Use yoga, tai chi, or conscious breathing to begin a dialog with your body. Something gentle (not working out), where you begin to sense your body’s input. Really pay attention to the sensations of the body when you are in emotional situations. Allow yourself to physically feel where these sensations are in the body (tingling head, tight chest, etc.). Physically feeling emotions can be disorienting at first, and your reaction may be to jump back to mental evaluation. Just remember these sensations have always been there, it is only your awareness of them that’s new. It’s good to know what your body feels, that’s how we get most of our intuition.

Most of us have moments at each pole, and the path back is always balance. We all have both the strengths, and the shadows, of each. Awareness is what matters. As both energies find balance within, it opens the door for inner Divine Union (body & Higher Self), which is the whole point of this game. While the feminine woke up first, I think the masculine will wake up faster. The heart can be found through either the emotions or the mind, you just have to bring in some balance. Race you to the inner door…