As we continue our drift through timelines, I am constantly reminded not to qualify or quantify things. In other words, don’t judge. This goes for people, places, experiences, and perceptions. “Good” and “bad” aren’t helpful at this time. While boundaries and discernment are always necessary, it is important to limit value judgements based on perception. Did the situation hurt? Maybe. Was the outcome not as planned? Probably. Does this mean it was the wrong thing? Maybe not. Leave it open.
Our experiences form us. We needed whatever we went through to bring us here. At this point, we have the choice to release or relive. If you are truly done with the past, it is the perfect time to bless it, and release it. Release is a very peaceful experience. If you desperately want your past to leave you alone, there is more work to be done. The work is internal. No room for blame. No room for fighting the person or experience.
I had the experience recently to watch how judgement really works. I was talking to a friend about a judgement they made about a situation years ago, and the subsequent decisions that held up that judgement. Their life was totally transformed by that single judgement, and not in a good way. When I saw the pattern required to hold up that judgement, it actually made me nauseous. I thought to myself… This is what we all do! This is how it works! I think I’m gonna be sick…
Judge not lest ye be judged doesn’t refer to an outside force judging you, or even to other people. It actually means when we judge we start building the walls of our own prison. We block ourselves off from anything and anyone that contradicts that judgement. If we are not consistently owning and working through our judgements, we build our prison walls even higher. Every choice making us more “right” about our original judgement. Our lives are confined by our own judgements.
Think of the consequences of a childhood judgement like “life is hard” or “men are childish”. With every new experience we revert to this original judgement, and build the walls even higher. I have always seen this type of action as a result of childhood trauma. While there may trauma to deal with, it is the judgement that holds us in a pattern. Also, judgements can be made at anytime throughout our lives. Be careful what box you create for yourself.
It’s worth mentioning I’m not talking about petty judgements, nor am I suggesting dropping personal boundaries. We make dozens of observations and petty judgements everyday. Just because you think (inside your head) that a person shouldn’t wear pink, doesn’t necessarily mean you will build a wall against all things pink. If it isn’t a nagging issue, just let it go. Also, if you have distanced yourself from someone for your own well-being, keep that boundary in place. At some point, revisit the judgement used to make the boundary, while keeping it firm. I had to separate from a narcissistic friend a few years back. While I mentally sift through the experience to find forgiveness and release, I know our time together is over. Discernment is very different from judgement.
When looking at relationships – with others, or with yourself – judgement is the opposite of love. When you say”that isn’t how I would do it”, you are talking about discernment. Deciding what’s right for yourself is discernment. When you say “they did it wrong”, you are making a judgement. Deciding what others should or shouldn’t do is judgement. We judge ourselves, too. We can choose to forgive ourselves, instead of “should-ing” ourselves. You can’t judge someone and love them at the same time, not even yourself.
May you fully release your past. When the fog clears, may you find yourself on your highest possible timeline. May love dissolve every judgement in your world. Love is always stronger than any judgement.
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